I used to be an invisible person. My only request on the last day of my life is for a radio to be played outside my cell and that it be tuned to country music. Anyway it will be like a fairytale ending to an amazing story.

…

I was working hard on my project, saving time having my mother prepare the food. She said there were black spirits in my apartment and never ventured past the hallway without her cat in tow. She even claimed these spirits caused the suicide of my father back in 1994. At one point she threatened to invite a group of Kenyans she had met on the psychic convention to perform a voodoo dance in my flat to exorcise the black spirits. What she didn’t realize was the dark presence was I.

…

My mother is convinced her cat is psychic.

"She has this weird thing where lately she has been waking me up when I've been late to things. She'd just wake me up so I would be on time," she said. She says her pet woke her up that day in time to hear my father go.

I almost came to terms with the fact that we would never see dad again. But I never gave up hope. My mother believes that we are all connected to each other with an invisible spiritual thread through which we can transmit energy and feelings and emotions. “When your father got himself into that ‘suicide’ current, no psychic or anyone else could help him. Because your father is a powerful spirit, and would effectively make everyone completely blind to his looming darkness. It's his suicide to have. No one can reach into his life and take that suicide away from him,” she said.

…

At five, she used to wake me up in the middle of the night and describe the forms of spirits in my room. Somewhere inside my heart, I knew I would prove to be what mother would call an element of darkness. But you don't just base it totally on the heart. You have to have other indicators present. When I look at reality, I see a giant ocean of chaos. There are waves and currents and storms and whirlpools. It is not linear or finite in any way. Nothing is resolved in two hours, or two years, or... ever. There is no right or wrong or success or failure. There is just the ocean. And I'm in there, swimming in another direction.